Taking out the Trash

January 28, 2012

Taking out the Trash

by: Phriend Lee

I want something for my readers; and that is reliability. Do you believe me when I say I want to bring forth the unscrupulous in our society so that their lack of scruples may be judged accordingly? It is with this desire that I bring before my readers an odorous piece of trickery in league with Jimmy Hoffa’s jury tampering and double-dealing or as insidious as Whitey Bulger’s multifarious deceits and his sticky fingers.

The culprit is the curiously aloof and nearly anonymous Dining Services at Vermont University, or VMU, in Burlingston. I recently learned of the goings on by a part-time employee and full-time student at VMU named Sarah Moffett. Ms. Moffett told me in confidence that not only does the University waste an exorbitant amount food after sports games and on-campus functions, but that the public is being duped into believing that the tripartite disposal system; labeled trash, compost and recycle, all ends up in exactly the same place, the dump.

The VMU Manager of Dining Services, Jonathan Bergen, did not return my calls regarding this atrocity, and so I was forced to investigate myself.

I found that it was amazingly easy to gain access to the kitchens of any facility at VMU. At the student center kitchen, the largest on campus, I was able to enter through the door without even as much as a passing glances by the employees.

Ms. Moffett informed me that access to the dumpster was past the freezers and refrigerators in the back of the kitchen. I waited for an employee to empty the receptacles in the main dining room and followed them into the kitchen.

We walked past the desert trays and salad stations; on past the refrigerators labeled “hamburger” and “horsemeat” and around by the ice cream storage. The employee then confirmed my suspicions by grouping all three bags together and depositing them in the dumpster along with all the other trash.

I cannot tell you how betrayed I feel by the University, especially since Vermont University promotes itself as an environmentally conscious center of learning. Perhaps Mr. Bergen of Dining Services should respond to these allegations rather than letting his answering machine do the talking for him.

Your P.A.L.