Wish Me Luck (revised)

Well, the time has come for drastic measures.

I have decided to burn down this whole place. There is just too much injustice for me to cope with, and after finding out that Callista was in on the entire situation, I cannot help but think that she must go as well.

Our officials are corrupt, our police and firemen too. The mayor of Burlingston is a fat old crook with no sense of right an wrong. Our school teachers are teaching our children how to be terrible people. Our babysitters are a product of this vapid and tainted system. If we let it continue all that will be perpetuated will be insidiously bad habits. Our lovers are the ones that hurt us most.

I cannot let this stand, and so I must burn it down. It is like a sale in the summer, EVERYTHING MUST GO!

I started this morning with that rat Callista. After spending the evening hiding in the shadows and watching her movements carefully, I decided that she must be stopped. I followed her to the hospital where she consulted with shady individuals in white coats from a department labeled "Mental Health Division." I think they must be involved some how. They must be implanting mind control devices in the heads of patients with mental disorders because they are easier to control and no one will take them seriously when they claim to be being controlled by the government. I shall not let this happen to anyone else.

After following Callista back to our apartment, I approached her and she said that she consulted a "doctor." After a quick altercation I dealt with her in the right way.

Now I am going to go and finish the job at the hospital.


Wish me luck.

Your P.A.L.

Original Post:

http://phriendlee.blogspot.com/2012/04/wish-me-luck.html

Gossipings (revised)

Well, my dear readers, it seems as though I have had the wool pulled over my eyes for too long now. I have confronted Callista with my suspicions about her involvement in the government conspiracy that I am so close to uncovering. When confronted with these accusations, she claimed that I was "bat-shit crazy" and "in need of some serious medical attention regarding my psychoses." It seems that she has been involved from the very beginning, for as it turns out, she is Miro.

I know, it is hard to comprehend, and I am still trying to wrap my head around it, but she has been part of the conspiracy from the very beginning. Something needs to be done! I must leave our apartment and take to the shadows so that I can be away from all of these terrible influences in my life. I am surrounded by devious dealings and insidious motivations.

I am unsure about what to do. I am infuriated and quite frankly embarrassed.

I shall need a while to figure out what the next step is.




Original Post: http://phriendlee.blogspot.com/2012/04/gossipings.html

Callista and her Gossip (revised)

Callista has been telling me all about the town gossip and the dirt on the local officials. It seems that they perpetuate the gossip as much as anyone else around here. How terrible it is that our elected officials are no more mature than school children.

I still cannot figure out the answer to that riddle. I shall get back to you.


I have been more careful to observe Callista's behavior lately. She seems to be observing me in the very same manner. I am not unconvinced that she is not part of this conspiracy against me. After doing a rigorous search of her website history on her computer, I have found suspicious websites dealing with gossip and strange geometrical equations. She has been researching signs and symbols quite frequently. I am suspicious.


Your P.A.L.


Original Post:

http://phriendlee.blogspot.com/2012/04/callista-and-her-gossip.html

Main St Jitters (revised)

I am about to go and meet with Miro in person. After all this time I am ready to get down to the business of breaking open this conspiracy that has wormed its way through the upper crust of this seedy pie that is our government. Wish me luck. I just hope Callista can come along for the ride, but she said something about her stomach hurting and wanting to stay home.

I am starting to worry about Callista. She is more aloof lately. When I return from my excursions late at night, she is not as talkative as she once was. I hope that these conspirators have not gotten to her as well. 

We are meeting on Main Street, where all the dark business begins. 

Your P.A.L

original post: http://phriendlee.blogspot.com/2012/04/main-street-jitters.html

Another No Show (revised)

Miro was again absent from our meeting. Yet, I was luckier this time. He left me another box, and this time I was actually able to get to it before Johnny Law.

Again Miro seems to love his games, for he only left me a puzzle to solve and only a few hints to get there.

He writes:

Riddle me this P.A.L. if you can figure out what the answer to this riddle is, you will know what it is that I am trying to fight in the world. 

I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning, malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. 

What am I fighting? Tell me P.A.L. and we can fight it together from the top down. 


I must think on this for a while. He must be testing my wits. 

I returned home to find Callista on the computer. She did not hear me come in, and I saw that she was looking over websites regarding paranoid schizophrenia. I hope that she is not feeling sick. I think the government must have done something to her. I think they have gotten her to believe there is no conspiracy. I must watch her closely.


Your P.A.L. 


Original Post: http://phriendlee.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-no-show.html 

This Domain has been Seized

Wish me Luck

Well, the time has come for drastic measures.

I have decided to burn down this whole place. There is just too much injustice for me to cope with, and after finding out that Callista was in on the entire situation, I cannot help but think that she must go as well.

Our officials are corrupt, our police and firemen too. The mayor of Burlingston is a fat old crook with no sense of right an wrong. Our school teachers are teaching our children how to be terrible people. Our babysitters are a product of this vapid and tainted system. If we let it continue all that will be perpetuated will be insidiously bad habits. Our lovers are the ones that hurt us most.

I cannot let this stand, and so I must burn it down. It is like a sale in the summer, EVERYTHING MUST GO!


Wish me luck.

Your P.A.L.

Gossipings

Well, my dear readers, it seems as though I have had the wool pulled over my eyes for too long now. Callista has been running me around in circles, and I have just been duped into believing that I am on the path of righteousness. It turns out that my dear Callista has been pretending to be this Miro character for this entire time.

I am unsure about what to do. I am infuriated and quite frankly embarrassed.

I shall need a while to figure out what the next step is.

Callista and her Gossip

Callista has been telling me all about the town gossip and the dirt on the local officials. It seems that they perpetuate the gossip as much as anyone else around here. How terrible it is that our elected officials are no more mature than school children.

I still cannot figure out the answer to that riddle. I shall get back to you.

Your P.A.L.

Another No Show

Miro was again absent from our meeting. Yet, I was luckier this time. He left me another box, and this time I was actually able to get to it before Johnny Law.

Again Miro seems to love his games, for he only left me a puzzle to solve and only a few hints to get there.

He writes:

Riddle me this P.A.L. if you can figure out what the answer to this riddle is, you will know what it is that I am trying to fight in the world. 

I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning, malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. 

What am I fighting? Tell me P.A.L. and we can fight it together from the top down. 


I must think on this for a while. He must be testing my wits. 


Your P.A.L. 

Main Street Jitters

I am about to go and meet with Miro in person. After all this time I am ready to get down to the business of breaking open this conspiracy that has wormed its way through the upper crust of this seedy pie that is our government. Wish me luck. I just hope Callista can come along for the ride, but she said something about her stomach hurting and wanting to stay home.

We are meeting on Main Street, where all the dark business begins. 

Your P.A.L

Another Clue

I have just heard from Miro again. It was brief, but to the point:

Hey P.A.L.

I guess you fucked up last time and let the cops get a hold of what I had intended for you to have. That's fine, they're all too stupid to know what it was anyways. Let's meet again tonight; same place, same time.  

Miro

So it looks as thought I'm going to get a second shot at this thing. 


Your P.A.L.  

Words of Encouragement

Callista was overwhelmed when I told her about the pattern I had uncovered. She was quite surprised when I told her that it only took me six hours to figure it out. Her exact words were, "Wow, I wouldn't have been able to figure that one out so quickly, knowing you I would have guessed it would take you a few days to figure out that one."

She then went on to suggest I try reaching out to Miro again to see if he can get me another package, seeing as I missed out on the last one.

Strange Things Afoot

I have been walking around the City Hall this evening, trying to deduce any signs of malfesance or debauchery afoot; but it seems, if not quiet, then at least overwhelmingly civil. There are however, strange signs positioned in some sort of pattern on all of the telephone poles going around the building.

On each pole there are a different number of little red colored slips with the words "Hey P.A.L." on them. They also follow a distinct pattern around the city hall. The pattern is as follows:

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89

I first noticed the pole with 89 because they were practically covering the side. Then I slowly walked around town. I have diagrammed the pattern.:

I have seen this pattern before, it is reminiscent of the Fibonacci Number. I cannot wait to tell Callista, she has always been a fan of numbers and codes. She has read the Da Vinci Code at least four times. Maybe this has something to do with what Miro left for me in that box. I hope he gets in touch soon.

Your P.A.L.

Distress Downtown

Miro, in a frantic-one line- e-mail, had this to say about our missed connection last night:


Hey P.A.L. sorry about last night, things were getting a little too hot, make sure you use what I left behind in that package wisely. 

Miro

Well, Miro, I hope it wasn't too important. 

No Show

Miro, the elusive one, has decided to leave me hanging.

I was afraid something like this would occur, but I was not totally unprepared for such a scenario. I do not believe that Miro did it on purpose, because I was listening in on the police scanners and there was a disturbance five minutes before I was to meet Miro in the exact spot where we were supposed to see each other. It seems that a red flare was set off and a small package was left in the spot.


I wonder what was in that package?

Another Midnight Miro Meeting

Miro has given me word again that we are too meet tonight at midnight to give me more information on where our investigation will be headed. I asked Callista, my wife to attend with me so that she and Miro can meet face to face to figure out their differences, but she refuses and is adamant about staying in the new apartment tonight.

I shall update tomorrow with more information.


Your P.A.L.

Setting up Shop in Mountpillar

I have rented a small apartment in Mountpillar from which I will center my investigation around. I am awaiting word from Miro about where I should be going. He sent me an e-mail last night:


Hey P.A.L.

Let's get things straight. You and I are in cahoots, for better or worse. Let's do this thing together. I'll call you tomorrow and we can figure this thing out. 

I'll be anxiously awaiting his call and I've got to get my room set up. 

Your P.A.L. 

The Road to Mountpillar

I am taking the trip to our state's capitol tomorrow with questions running through my head at a hundred miles a minute. I will be taking my wife along, she is just as intrigued by this conundrum as I am, having had a devastating personal experience with Miro.

I did receive another e-mail from Miro last night before I went to bed. It reads:

Hey P.A.L.

I see you're taking my advice and going South. Good choice. Maybe I'll see you there. Why don't you start with the Mayor's office. 

Love, 
Miro

So, it looks like I'm going to the Mayor's to get started. Maybe I can meet up with Miro again once I get there. Wish me luck. 

Your P.A.L. 

Unraveling the Strange Case of Miro

I was summoned to a late night excursion to the Burlingston Pier by the mysterious Miro. I was overwhelmed by the news that was delivered to me by this character. I did not see the face of Miro, he forced me to keep at least twenty feet away from him at all times, and he was wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, very similar to the one I keep by my desk at all times.

He told me vaguely that there was some sort of conspiracy being perpetrated upon the American public, and that I was the only one who could uncover the details. I am his Woodward and he is my deep throat. He told me that the answers I was looking for could only be found in Mountpillar and that I would likely be drawn into a whirlwind adventure of intrigue and deceit like nothing I have ever been on before.

The details of the conspiracy are as follows:
-In Mountpillar there are backroom dealings that are insidious. They consist of high-level politicians and local businesses pulling the wool over our eyes.
-Perhaps these dealings are not only in Mountpillar, but reach the upper echelon of our legislative system in this country, and there is the possibility that these things break into the executive. Miro made claims that Joe Biden could be involved in some way.


The path forward is clear. I must go to Mountpillar and begin my investigation.


Your P.A.L.

Midnight Miro

This is too much for me to handle.

There is a conspiracy that winds its way to the highest tiers of government and even breaches international waters. I cannot say much now, but stay vigilant and check back soon.

Your P.A.L.

The Unsolved Case of Miro Continues

My friends, 

It has been a week since the devastating events that scarred my beautiful wife. I had a quiet week by all accounts, with no further news from this Miro character. That was until earlier this evening. At 7:35 Eastern Standard Time, I received the following e-mail to the account connected to this blog:

Hey PAL, 

Did I scare you last week? I hope so. You want answers, well I want Justice with a capital J. You're the only man in this town with enough guts to get to the bottom of something big and juicy, and I've got the dish ready for you to come and devour it.

Interested? Meet me downtown at 1 AM, by the pier. This is only the beginning. Tell nobody about this.

Love,
Miro

So, there you have it. Maybe Miro isn't a slime ball after all, maybe he just wanted to give me a taste of what kind of shit I'm about to get in to. Or, maybe this is all a trap. The only way I can know for sure is to hop on down to the pier tonight. Wish me luck.

Your P.A.L.

Who is Miro?

It seems that it is no longer safe to be an investigative journalist in Burlingston. Earlier today my wife was accosted and thrown under a bookshelf when a psychoneurotic sensationalist calling himself Miro broke into my apartment to leave a note warning me to laconically “cut the shit.”

Callista, my dear wife, is in stable condition and resting quietly at home. She sustained only a few scratches and minor bruising, but after this terrifying encounter with Miro it is understandable that she is in a delicate condition mentally.

I interrogated her to the best of my ability as to Miro’s intentions and his identity. She had very little information to give me, with the exception of one clear statement he made to her. After he had tipped the bookshelf over onto her, he remarked, “Tell your nosy husband to keep his nose out of places it doesn’t belong.”

This can only be in response to my recent inquiries into the seedy underbelly of Vermont. The only questions are, who is Miro and what exactly is he referring to?

Is it my inquiry into Jennifer Venson or is it Vermont University that has a much deeper secret? The only way to find out is to keep digging.

Miro, you messed with the wrong P.A.L.

Threats and Bookcases

Readers, I must be brief. I have received an anonymous letter from some fiend lurking in Burlingston. I have attached a picture here:

I found my beautiful wife, Callista Manley, under a set of bookshelves in my office today with this note in her hands. I think she is fine physically, but I fear that her mental state is quite fragile. I must take her to the hospital to be completely sure.

More to come.

Taking out the Trash

January 28, 2012

Taking out the Trash

by: Phriend Lee

I want something for my readers; and that is reliability. Do you believe me when I say I want to bring forth the unscrupulous in our society so that their lack of scruples may be judged accordingly? It is with this desire that I bring before my readers an odorous piece of trickery in league with Jimmy Hoffa’s jury tampering and double-dealing or as insidious as Whitey Bulger’s multifarious deceits and his sticky fingers.

The culprit is the curiously aloof and nearly anonymous Dining Services at Vermont University, or VMU, in Burlingston. I recently learned of the goings on by a part-time employee and full-time student at VMU named Sarah Moffett. Ms. Moffett told me in confidence that not only does the University waste an exorbitant amount food after sports games and on-campus functions, but that the public is being duped into believing that the tripartite disposal system; labeled trash, compost and recycle, all ends up in exactly the same place, the dump.

The VMU Manager of Dining Services, Jonathan Bergen, did not return my calls regarding this atrocity, and so I was forced to investigate myself.

I found that it was amazingly easy to gain access to the kitchens of any facility at VMU. At the student center kitchen, the largest on campus, I was able to enter through the door without even as much as a passing glances by the employees.

Ms. Moffett informed me that access to the dumpster was past the freezers and refrigerators in the back of the kitchen. I waited for an employee to empty the receptacles in the main dining room and followed them into the kitchen.

We walked past the desert trays and salad stations; on past the refrigerators labeled “hamburger” and “horsemeat” and around by the ice cream storage. The employee then confirmed my suspicions by grouping all three bags together and depositing them in the dumpster along with all the other trash.

I cannot tell you how betrayed I feel by the University, especially since Vermont University promotes itself as an environmentally conscious center of learning. Perhaps Mr. Bergen of Dining Services should respond to these allegations rather than letting his answering machine do the talking for him.

Your P.A.L.

Egregious Acts and Seedy Dealings in the Free Press

by Phriend Authoritative Lee (P.A.L) 

This is not a story I wanted to write, but I have no choice but to bring to light terrible happenings and deceitful interactions at the Burlingston Free Press. I am (for the time being) employed as a columnist under Executive Editor, Jennifer Venson. I have access to material that is classified: employee records, distribution contracts, telephone records and expense reports. It is though the careful examination of such materials that I have unearthed a truly heinous crime being inflicted upon the upstanding citizens of the Greater Burlingston Community. Ms. Venson, the seemingly dutiful editor of our seemingly reliable Free Press has sneakily duped the public into believing she was once a gainfully employed employee at the Charlotte Observer in Charlotte, North Carolina from the years 1999-2003 as the Editor of the Business and Metro Sections, as well as a staff writer for some time. Her own resume states her experience as follows:

           

1999-2001: Charlotte Observer, Charlotte, North Carolina-Staff Writer for the Metro Department.

Topics covered:

-Passage of Local Ordinance 301 describing the proposed creation of a subway system in Charlotte and the public outcry against it.

-Weekly Column entitled “New Charlotte” describing the growing metropolitan area and the trends in the changing populace.

2001-2003: Editor of the Charlotte Observer Metro and Business.

Duties:

-Hired and managed writers for both departments.

-Oversaw and edited all articles for print.

As you can see, Ms. Venson was a busy girl down in Charlotte. Or was she?

After working under Venson for the past four years as a column writer I began to have suspicions about her expertise and her skills as an editor. Often times her critiques of my work showed serious signs of inexperience. I found that she frequently would make comments that were either wrong outright or ineffectual and vague. Being the hard-hitting reporter that I am, I took matters into my own hands three months ago and looked into Venson’s past.

It turns out that Venson not only lied about her time as Editor of the Charlotte Observer Metro and Business Sections, but that she took liberties with her detailing of her time as a staff writer as well.

In my research I have found that Venson was co-editor of the Metro Section from August 2001 until September 2002 and co-editor of the Business Section from February 2001 until she took on the Metro Section and then again from October 2002 until January 2003.

None of those dates line up with her claim of dual editor of the Metro and Business sections from 2001-2003. She was never editor of both, and never was she even the sole editor of a single section of the paper.

As far as her staff writing credits are concerned, she is listed on the employee records for the Charlotte Observer from November 1999 until she was promoted to her co-editorship in August 2001. This lines up with her claim, even if she was only employed for less then two months in 1999. However, the column “New Charlotte” had as many as four different contributors in the time period she claimed to be the sole contributor for.

Burlingston Community, it is not easy for me to bring these terrible truths to the public. I had to search through boxes of back-taxes and expense reports to find the information on Venson. I searched through boxes labeled “Expense Reports 2003-2004”, “Telephone Records 2000-2005”, “Champlain Lake Toxic Waste Cleanup Documents 2004” and  “Burlingston Mayoral Race 2007” to dig up the dirty information on Ms. Venson.

Individuals in the community have had their suspicions about the purported reliability of Jennifer Venson for years.

“I always thought she was a little strange,” remarked Callista Manley, “she was always kind of mean whenever I spoke with her as well. Remember that time we had her over for dinner and she made that offhand remark about my mother’s silverware having a tarnished yet appealing look to it? That was completely uncalled for.”

Uncalled for indeed, just as Jennifer Venson is no expert on silverware, she is no expert on paper editing. She has been lying to the public for years about her expertise as a paper editor. Who can we trust for our news if those employed to edit and contribute to our newspapers are themselves lying, deceitful and conniving liars themselves?

I have brought the truth to the public, it is now the role of duty and justice to bring right to the people and relieve Jennifer Venson of her post at the Burlingston Free Press.